Bluestar’s Prophecy Spoof Edit
(pg with really bad puns)
*le squirrel falls on Bluekit*
Snowkit: hey bluekit guess what
Snowkit: i guess you could say that was a
Snowkit: ...flying squirrel
Bluekit: wtf Snowkit
Thistlekit: *is born*
Bluekit: he’s cute
Snowkit: ok no
Thistlekit: *is suddenly evil*
Bluekit: actually no
Snowkit: actually yeAH
Moonflower: *is dead*
Bluepaw: She’s dead! Our mother is gone forever! NO!
Snowpaw: Well this is
*le Stormtail and Dappletail flirting*
Snowpaw: ...doesn’t he have a TAIL to tell to the Clan
Bluepaw: our mother is dead snowpaw
Bluepaw: snowpaw nO
Snowpaw: Her death was certainly not peaceful nor SWEET
Bluepaw: our lives are crASHING AROUND US SNOWPAW
Clan: Bluefur! Snowfur! Bluefur! Snowfur! Snowfur: Why so glum, Bluefur? Bluefur: we got the same boring suffix
Snowfur: is that why you’re so
Bluefur: oh my GOD
Bluefur: why are you mates with Thistleclaw he’s a meanie
Snowfur: do u have a problem he’s the sweetest thing
Bluefur: there were no bad p-
Snowfur: actually, I misphrased that. His sister was the sweetest thing.
Snowfur: um where were you???
Bluefur: *is nervous*
Snowfur: I sense something
Snowfur: *leans in*
Bluefur: *is even more nervous*
Snowfur: are you sure you're feeling
Bluefur: *sweats profoundly*
Whitekit: *is born*
Bluefur: how was the birthing
Snowfur: but my mood might be a little
Bluefur: that doesn’t make sense
Snowfur: one day
Snowfur: *is hit by car*
Bluefur: NO! MY LAST FAMILY!
Snowfur: Bluefur, it’ll be okay
Snowfur: … i’m… i’m sure my death will be…
Bluefur: *waits for inspirational quote*
Snowfur: a HIT with the gossip
Bluefur: snowfur you are DYING
Bluefur: No, my sweet! Just a bit farther! Mosskit: *dies*
Snowfur: *arrives to take Mosskit to StarClan*
Snowfur: Bluefur that was really
Snowfur: … cold
Bluefur: snowfur everyone i love is GONE
StarClan: Bluestar! Bluestar! Bluestar: I promise to lead ThunderClan to victory, and-
Snowfur: and shine like a STAR Bluestar: i’m done
Oakheart: Welcome to StarClan, Bluestar. We are all here to welcome you.
Bluestar: That was it? That was the end?
Snowfur: Unfortunately, yes it is, sister.
Snowfur: lol but wait
Bluestar: … what
Snowfur: you drowned. Therefore you cannot enter StarClan.
Bluestar: What? But I lived nine full lives and never followed the path of evil!
Snowfur: Like I said before, you drowned. Like, in water.
Snowfur: Welcome to
Bluestar: I’m going to kill you
Snowfur: but wasn’t my death already a road to sadness?
Bluestar: Snowfur, can we ta-
Snowfur: look, Bluestar. I know your future seemed misty-
Snowfur: And your destiny seemed already set in stone-
Snowfur: but all this time, I have believed in you. And so has everyone else.
Bluestar: ... thank you. I am very pleased to hear that. I was just wondering what life to give Fireheart...?
Snowfur: Give him one for nobility
Bluestar: Thanks Snowfur, that's actually really-
Snowfur: In case his attitude gets a little too
Bluestar: are you SERIOUS