Bluestar’s Prophecy Spoof Edit

(pg with really bad puns)

*le squirrel falls on Bluekit*

Snowkit: hey bluekit guess what

Snowkit: i guess you could say that was a

Snowkit: ...flying squirrel

Bluekit: wtf Snowkit


Thistlekit: *is born*

Bluekit: he’s cute

Snowkit: ok no

Thistlekit: *is suddenly evil*

Bluekit: actually no

Snowkit: actually yeAH


Moonflower: *is dead*

Snowpaw: what

Bluepaw: She’s dead! Our mother is gone forever! NO!

Snowpaw: …

Bluepaw: …

Hawkheart: …

Hawkheart: sorry

Bluepaw: ...

Snowpaw: Well this is

Snowpaw: ...hawkward

Bluepaw: SNOWPAW


*le Stormtail and Dappletail flirting*

Bluepaw: dad

Bluepaw: no

Stormtail: yes

Snowpaw: well

Snowpaw: ...doesn’t he have a TAIL to tell to the Clan

Bluepaw: our mother is dead snowpaw


Sweetpaw: *dies*

Bluepaw: NO

Snowpaw: …

Bluepaw: …

Bluepaw: snowpaw nO

Snowpaw: …

Snowpaw: Her death was certainly not peaceful nor SWEET

Bluepaw: our lives are crASHING AROUND US SNOWPAW


Clan: Bluefur! Snowfur! Bluefur! Snowfur! Snowfur: Why so glum, Bluefur? Bluefur: we got the same boring suffix

Snowfur: oh

Snowfur: is that why you’re so


Bluefur: oh my GOD

Bluefur: why are you mates with Thistleclaw he’s a meanie

Snowfur: do u have a problem he’s the sweetest thing

Bluefur: …

Snowfur: …

Snowfur: what

Bluefur: there were no bad p-

Snowfur: actually, I misphrased that. His sister was the sweetest thing.

Bluefur: stOP


Snowfur: um where were you???

Bluefur: *is nervous*

Snowfur: I sense something

Snowfur: *leans in*

Snowfur: fishy

Bluefur: *is even more nervous*

Snowfur: are you sure you're feeling

Snowfur: oakay?

Bluefur: *sweats profoundly*


Whitekit: *is born*

Bluefur: how was the birthing

Snowfur: fine

Snowfur: but my mood might be a little

Snowfur: ...stormy

Bluefur: that doesn’t make sense

Whitekit: *mewles*

Snowfur: one day


Snowfur: *is hit by car*


Snowfur: Bluefur, it’ll be okay

Snowfur: … i’m… i’m sure my death will be…

Bluefur: *waits for inspirational quote*

Snowfur: a HIT with the gossip

Bluefur: snowfur you are DYING


Mosskit: *falls*

Bluefur: No, my sweet! Just a bit farther! Mosskit: *dies*

Bluefur: *sobs*

Snowfur: *arrives to take Mosskit to StarClan*

Bluefur: s-snowfur?

Snowfur: …

Snowfur: Bluefur that was really

Snowfur: … cold

Bluefur: snowfur everyone i love is GONE


StarClan: Bluestar! Bluestar! Bluestar: I promise to lead ThunderClan to victory, and-

Snowfur: and shine like a STAR Bluestar: i’m done


Oakheart: Welcome to StarClan, Bluestar. We are all here to welcome you.

Bluestar: That was it? That was the end?

Snowfur: Unfortunately, yes it is, sister.

Bluestar: …

Snowfur: …

StarClan: …

Bluestar: so-

Snowfur: lol but wait

Bluestar: … what

Snowfur: you drowned. Therefore you cannot enter StarClan.

Bluestar: What? But I lived nine full lives and never followed the path of evil!

Snowfur: Like I said before, you drowned. Like, in water.

Snowfur: Welcome to

Snowfur: ...StarCLAM

Bluestar: I’m going to kill you

Snowfur: but wasn’t my death already a road to sadness?


Bluestar: Snowfur, can we ta-

Snowfur: look, Bluestar. I know your future seemed misty-

Bluestar: stop

Snowfur: And your destiny seemed already set in stone-

Bluestar: seriously

Snowfur: but all this time, I have believed in you. And so has everyone else.

Bluestar: ... thank you. I am very pleased to hear that. I was just wondering what life to give Fireheart...?

Snowfur: Give him one for nobility

Bluestar: Thanks Snowfur, that's actually really-

Snowfur: In case his attitude gets a little too

Snowfur: fiery

Bluestar: are you SERIOUS


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